Getting the message

I’ve been reading this book called African Friends and Money Matters by David Maranz, an ethnographer who has lived on the continent for many years. The book addresses the systems, customs, and behaviors of Africans and how Westerners have misinterpreted them to the point of viewing African culture as not just different but “lesser” compared to their own culture.

Haiti is not Africa, but it does trace its roots to the Western shores of the continent when the slave trade began. I have found many similarities between the cultures and have found the text very helpful in viewing Haitian culture in a new light. 

So, as I am nearing my departure, I have a few mental notes that I want to take away from the culture illustrated in the book in the hopes that I will prevent unnecessary frustrations next I return.

One is that Haitians never give a frank “no” when disagreeing with or refusing something. For example, Haitians frequently ask each other (and Westerners) to borrow money. If someone cannot lend any money, their response to the inquirer may be, “How about you come tomorrow, and we can talk then?” or “If I hadn’t spent my money on my rent, I would happily give you some”. With these seemingly circuitous answers, the person denying the request shows respect and solidarity to the inquirer. The relationship is maintained and neither side leaves feeling embarrassed.

It has taken me until a few weeks ago (when I finally cracked open the book) to realize the importance of this form of “dialogue” rather than using the American form of “direct communication”.

Another take home message is one involving house calls. I frequently would get annoyed when staff or other unannounced visitors would show up at the house requesting a meeting. Sometimes, it would be 7:30am or 7:30pm. Not to be rude, I would stop what I was doing to meet with the visitor. But, I had been missing something about these house calls all along. In Africa and in Haiti, having a lot of friends or acquaintances gives one status and respect in his community and also is a sign of respect to the one visited. Visiting friends and employers, therefore, is important to developing or maintaining a social network on which the visitor can depend in times of need.

I was on the phone yesterday with one of our employees, and because she couldn’t hear everything that I was saying, she said she would just come to the house to talk about it. It would only take two minutes, but the employee made the effort to come out to meet me to discuss what I had to share.

It’s amazing to me how long I have spent in-country and was not able to pick-up on these cultural nuances. Well, now I know!